Lessons I’ve Learned from My Favourite Shows.

            The title pretty much says it all, so I’m going to forego the introduction about how much I love these shows and the value of the lessons I’ve learned from them and just jump right in.

            Fun fact: I’m learning a lot about myself as I write these blogs, and right now I’ve learned that I really, really like listing things. Most of my posts are lists of some sort, or at least have lists in them. Hm. Anyway…va bene…

            Needless to say, SPOILERS are abound.

Friendship is an Involuntary Reflex

From How I Met Your Mother

            In case you couldn’t tell by the occasional references that bleed through to my posts (What up! Lawyered!) I absolutely love HIMYM. It’s quirky, clever, hilarious, and intelligent. This lesson comes from the Slapsgiving episode in Season 3.  Robin and Ted, now exes, are having a hard time getting along. Eventually they decide that they shouldn’t be friends anymore. They resolve to get through this Thanksgiving dinner and go their separate ways. But during the dinner, something is said and Ted and Robin simultaneously snap into an inside joke between the two of them. They realize that they can’t end their friendship because, as Ted put it, “Friendship is an involuntary reflex, it just happens, you can’t help it.”

            Now most people think the way Ted does already, including myself. Bad friends aside—serial mooches, sociopaths, violent unstable people, etc—forming a friendship isn’t normally a thought-out decision, like a romantic relationship. Friendship just happens. You meet someone, you click, you hang out, you bond. Bam. Maintaining a close friendship can take work, but it’s not a business transaction or a contract. It just happens.  That’s one of the most beautiful things about it.

            I know a few people who treat friendships like romantic relationships. One in particular is especially strange about it. For him, friendship is something that is weighed and measured. If he feels he isn’t getting what he wants out of the friendship (which for him is the person’s undying adoration, constant flattery, always agreeing with him, and the ability to read his mind) then he “ends things.” Yes, friendships require maintenance, but (at least for me) they’re nothing like the maintenance needed to maintain a romantic relationship. I don’t have to talk to them every day, or make sure I’m spending enough time for them to feel loved and appreciated. But for my friend…he doesn’t just let friendship happen. He weighs and measures it, is constantly aware of it, like he signed a contract with the person and can cancel it at any time if he feels the least bit slighted. It’s weird, uncomfortable, and honestly just a little bit sociopathic.

            Ted’s lesson is one to take to heart. Friendship shouldn’t be treated like a business transaction or a marriage. It’s one of the most spontaneous and unconscious social interactions we go through, and it should be that way. That’s the beauty of it.

Embrace Every Bit of Who You Are

From House

He's the only Brit I find sexy WITHOUT the accent.

            I fucking love Dr. House. He’s a narcissistic, drug-addicted, ill-tempered genius without the slightest inclination to follow any set of rules flung at him. House is definitely an anti-hero, representing less than likeable traits and taking some pretty controversial stances in many situations, but people love him. I know I wouldn’t complain if he were my doctor.

            Now I’m not saying that Dr. House is a great person to strive to be. If you’re a drug addict, you should absolutely get help rather than flaunt it to friends and coworkers like he does. That’s the barrier between fiction and real life. But House’s acceptance of himself, and all that he is, is something to take note of. Yes, he is a doctor, and that is a big chunk of how he defines himself, but House doesn’t fit himself into a label. He embraces everything he loves, regardless of whether or not it “makes sense” with social standards. Most people wouldn’t picture a Chief of Diagnostic Medicine riding a motorcycle (they’d probably picture a high priced Mercedes) or rocking vintage guitars.

            Even though House himself tumbles over the fine line between self-acceptance and self-indulgence, I admire his ability to unapologetically be himself. It’s a lesson that we should all take…though to a slightly lesser degree than the good doctor.

Being a Nerd is Awesome

From The Big Bang Theory

So much love.

            The Big Bang Theory is fast becoming one of my favourite shows. It’s completely and utterly hilarious without sacrificing intelligence. In fact, it revels in intelligence. Not only do I feel smart when I get the references they make, but I also don’t feel alienated or stupid when I don’t (as opposed to some moments in the show Frasier.) TBBT is the very first show I’ve ever seen that fully embraces nerdiness. In other shows, the nerds were secondary characters normally used for some sort of comic relief or punching bag. They’re normally unhappy characters, too.

Aesthetic paragraph break! Yay!

Well, Sheldon, Leonard, Raj, and Wolowitz don’t treat their nerdiness like some sort of burden or disease. No, they happily debate String Theory vs Loop Quantum Gravity and whether or not the addition of Godzilla and Obi Wan Kenobe would have turned the tables during the Civil War. They conduct experiments at home for fun and play Klingon Boggle (which, incidentally, I would totally play if I knew Klingon!)  While some of the characters do have some of the “nerd” characteristics we know, like Wolowitz still living with his mother and Raj being too terrified to speak around women, each of them have quirks and habits that are uniquely theirs. They’re complex and complete characters, more complete than a lot of characters in other hit shows on TV today. TBBT shows nerds as functioning members of society rather than the idle, immature loser paradigm we’ve all gotten used to seeing.

Hm…I seem to have grown fond of the word “paradigm.”

Focus, D.

Anyway, I’m a self-proclaimed nerd, more in the “I love Batman” way than the “theoretical physicist” way (that’s more my Dad’s schtik) and I’ve never been ashamed of hiding it. Like the characters of TBBT, I fully embrace my nerdiness and see it as a positive aspect of my personality rather than some sort of flaw. And I, like the characters of TBBT, believe we should all embrace our inner (or not-so-inner) nerd.

…Okay, quick digression, but I just have to say that I fucking love Sheldon Cooper! He’s totally over-the-top as a character, but I simply adore him. I would love to be his neighbor like Penny and just drive him nuts. The roommate war episode in season 2 is one of my favourites of all time.

Bazinga.

            Back on track.

There’s No Such Thing as a Storybook Romance

From Scrubs

            Scrubs has been a favourite show of mine for years, and it took me a long time to figure out a good lesson from it. Scrubs has so many different themes and storylines and morals, but throughout the entire series, this one has been a constant. Scrubs is not a show for the romantic idealist. Every pairing in the show is fraught with problems that mirror real life romances; anywhere from personality clashes and annoying habits to lying and cheating. I honestly find it to be one of the show’s best qualities. It doesn’t gloss over romantic pitfalls to be more appealing to the audience; rather, it repeatedly makes the lesson that love takes work, dedication, and endurance…and even with all that it doesn’t always work out.

In many sitcoms, there is a single couple who represent the perfect love (a good example of this is Lily and Marshall from HIMYM.) Scrubs doesn’t have one. Yes, Turk and Karla are the closest to that, but they consistently butt heads in ways that all married couples do. Their personalities don’t change to complement each other once they get married, and their relationship is a constant work in progress.

            Dr. Cox and Jordan are the closest thing to a “perfect for each other” couple on Scrubs, and they started Season 1 divorced and despising each other. Though they end up together and even have two children, but they never remarry (they’re happier divorced,) and they fight fiercely in every single episode you see them. I especially like Jordan’s speech in one episode My Lucky Charm, when Dr. Cox gets a vasectomy without telling Jordan and she doesn’t react angrily, as he expected, when she finds out, “I didn't freak out 'cause you and I are two very independent people in a relationship and we don't always share our feelings. I didn't get angry because I'm not surprised.” she says, “Do I wish it were different? Sometimes. But, whatever you and I have is working, so I guess I just have to live with it.”

            In spite of their chaotic and seemingly dysfunctional relationship, Jordan and Dr. Cox have learned to accept each other and, rather than trying to change one another, found ways to make their love work.

            Of course J.D and Elliot have to be mentioned. They were an item from the very first episode. Their relationship is an amazing example of how how you feel about somebody can change. In the very first season, J.D got stuck in the “friend zone” with Elliot, a place I’m sure we’ve all been. But as the show progressed, they got together multiple times, sometimes in a full-blown relationship, sometimes as fuck buddies, and J.D was even once the “other man” when Elliot was in another relationship. Their emotions for each other, too, have changed. One of the things I hate about TV romances is the feelings never changed. They’ve “always” loved one another, usually, or some shit like that. J.D and Elliot have fallen in and out of love many times. There was a point where they realized that they had absolutely no romantic feelings for each other, a point where J.D gets into a relationship with her and realizes he doesn’t love her, and when they are in love. J.D and Elliot do a really good job of showing how emotions can evolve and devolve, can change and change back.

Another aesthetic paragraph break because I’m talking too much!

This is probably the best lesson from Scrubs: Romantic feeling is a moving target. For some reason, we as a society or a culture tend to think that once we fall for someone, that’s it, the relationship changes forever, and it can never go back. That’s obviously not true. I know people who are friends with their exes to the point where you wouldn’t know they ever dated. We all know people who have fallen in and out of love with the same person over and over again. Love changes, grows, disappears, and returns. It’s refreshing to see such true versions of love on Scrubs, as opposed to the romantic and predictable routes it takes in other sitcoms.

Stop Being Sad and be Awesome Instead

From How I Met Your Mother (yes, again)

            I have to start this off by saying that Barney Stinson is one of my favourite characters of all time. I just adore him. He has so many lessons that he teaches, most of them less than ethical, but we can definitely learn from his enthusiasm for life. One of his simple statements used for comedic release has always stuck with me:

            “When I’m sad, I just stop being sad and be awesome instead. True story.”

            Simple and hilarious. I’ve taken a broad interpretation to it and actually begun trying to live by this statement. As I mentioned in a previous post, I’ve been struggling with unrequited feelings lately, which obviously makes me sad. So I’ve decided to stop being sad and be awesome instead; meaning, I’m doing my best to bury my heart and refocus my energies on yoga, belly dance, my writing, and other “awesome” things.  Thank you, Barney.

            More broadly interpreted, if something’s getting you down, pull a Barney and refocus your energy on doing something you love or something you’d like to improve on. It works for me, but more importantly, it works for Barney Stinson, and as you know, his life is absolutely legend…wait for it…