It’s Time for a Change: A Slightly Dull Life Update

            Hello all. This post is going to be another boring one, a life update. Just so you know.

            Well, it’s November, an insanely creative month for me. As I mentioned in a previous post, I laid out some goals for myself in order to properly harness my creative energy. Here’s an update on those goals:

            Burying my heart: Uh…work in progress. Some days and situations are better than others. What I have done well is physically implement Barney Stinson’s motto when this particular situation starts to bring me down—“When I’m sad, I just stop being sad and be awesome instead.” When I start getting down about the whole situation, I distract myself by doing something “awesome.” So far I’ve painted (which I can’t do well at all,) written, and tinkered with some other creative endeavors, but what seems to work best for me is to dive into a yoga/belly dance session. Which brings me to…

            Belly Dance/Yoga Regiment: I’m so excited about this. I’ve been following my regiment if not every day then every other day. Sometimes I have to take a break because I worked myself too hard the day before. I’ve done belly dance since I was 16 and yoga since my freshman year, and for the past year or so I’ve been very irregular about both. Now that I’ve thrown myself into this pretty damn intense regiment, I realize just how much I missed it, both in mind and body. I’m not a person who’s meant to be idle; I don’t think anyone is. And yes, when I’m finished with a workout, I hurt. But I hurt in the most amazing way possible. There’s nothing like the feeling I get when I’ve completed a session of yoga or a challenging belly dance technique drill. Mentally, I feel accomplished, liberated, and a little less like a lazy ass. But physically…oh, physically I feel wonderful. I’ve never appreciated the phrase hurts so good more than I do now, bad grammar and all. When I finish my sets in savasana, my limbs are purring from the work done on them. I haven’t had any appearance changes yet, but I’m already way more flexible than I was. And I’ve always been pretty damned flexible. Sometimes I overdo it and I can barely walk or turn my head the next day, but it’s so totally worth it.

            Writing: Um…yeah…oddly enough, I’ve drawn back from actually working on the first draft of Demetrius and Chloe and delved into outlining. I have a timeline that goes a few chapters ahead of where I am, two character profiles (on Demetrius and Chloe, of course,) and I’m working on a list of Demetrius’ 20 slaves of the season including their ages, physical appearances, and brief background bios. Pretty soon I’m going to force myself back to working on the actual draft, but right now I’m enjoying my outlining.

            Yeah, I’m one of those weird writers who love outlining and researching.

            I have, however, started working on a short story I’m writing as a Christmas present for my friends GG, whom I’ve previously mentioned, and Monroe, a friend of mine whom I call my daughter (she’s a huge Marilyn Monroe buff.) So I guess that counts for something. Right…?

            That’s November so far. Last weekend, I went to Chicago for the Columbia College Open House with Venus and her little from her sorority. Columbia College’s Fiction program has always been my dream grad program (I won’t bore you with the details, but it’s perfect) and I was incredibly excited to actually hear from staff members and students of the program in a presentation.

            For those of you who don’t know, I fell in love with Chicago itself during my visit there last spring break. It’s just beautiful. It’s full of culture, art, and rich history. Not to mention The Dark Knight was filmed there…so Chicago is my Gotham. Anyway, this trip last weekend made me fall in love with the city twice as hard. There’s just something about Chicago that calls to me. I just know it’s one of those places I have to experience in my life. I’ve made the decision to move there in August.

            For a really long time, I thought I was one of those people who would go to college near my hometown, marry young, and live close to my parents. But one heartbreak and college education later, my priorities have changed. The thought of settling down makes my stomach knot. I want to travel around while I’m young, experience interesting places, you know, do things.

            …I wouldn’t know what to do with one if I caught it! I just do things…

            Dammit, Joker.

            And we’re back. The point is, there might not be another time in my life where I’ll be able to just up and move to a big city. At some point I’ll have a career (er, hopefully,) children, a family, a house, or any number of things rooting me to one spot. I need to travel while I still can.

            All of that aside…it’s finally time for a change. I moved to BG in 2007, and I’ve loved it ever since. I’ve created a home here, a surrogate family, developed my writing and my dance style, and grown into a stronger person. I have amazing friends and a favourite bar. But years have gone by, and I’ve grown restless. I feel stagnant, stuck. To paraphrase Shakespeare, I feel like standing water, and I need to flow again.

            Ha. Flow.

            I have the attention span of a child today.

            Anyway, it doesn’t help that BG is a college town. Nearly everyone I met my first year here is gone. Before BG, I came from my hometown, where I had friends I’d known from kindergarten to senior year of high school. I’ve grown accustomed to people leaving my life, as much as it sucks, but I’m beginning to feel less like everyone’s going their separate ways and more like I’m getting left behind. To me, that’s a signal that it’s time to move on.

            I’m obnoxiously excited about going, but I’m also incredibly nervous. I mean, I know literally two people in Chicago, my creative writing “Big” whom I’ll call Voldy in this blog (short for Voldemort. I’m sure he’ll appreciate that) and a cousin of mine whom I love but am not particularly close to. I’ll need a roommate in Chicago…a roommate who’s okay with living with a half mad writer, two cats, and a crazy half-naked rat dog.  At this moment I don’t have any job prospects in Chicago. Then again, I don’t have any job prospects here either.

            In short, yeah, making a big change like this is scary. Terrifying, even. But I know it’s time. I love BG and I value everything I’ve learned here, including the hard lessons. I’m going to cry like the bleeding heart pussy that I am when I leave, but I’m going to be so excited to start a new chapter of my life.

            I’m not moving until August, so I have plenty of time to absorb all of this and plan more solidly. Chicago is probably going to bleed into more posts as moving time grows closer. I know this post hasn’t been particularly entertaining, and I promise to be more fun next week. For now, though, I’ll give you some advice: Do what you want to do while you can, whether that be backpacking through Europe, road tripping across the country, spontaneous last-minute flights, or, like me, moving to a new city. I’m sure not all of your goals are travel-related, but I’m tired and lazy right now, so fill in the blank with your own dream.

            We don’t all settle down completely, but the majority of us do end up rooted in some way. As we  get older, it usually gets harder and harder to do spontaneous things or make huge changes. And I don’t know about the rest of you, but I’d rather take a risk and make a big change rather than look back years later and regret that I hadn’t. So I guess what I’m saying, in my discombobulated and sleep-deprived way, is that if you’re thinking of doing something big, do it. Take the leap. In my humble opinion, it’s better to take a big risk and possibly fail than live forever wondering what would have happened if you had just had the balls to go through with it.

            Right. Fleeing from bad blog post now. Better one to come next week. I’m calling it an early night because WINTER WHEAT* is tomorrow! Nerdgasm!

Me at Twin Anchors in Chicago...standing in the EXACT spot where Harvey Dent stood in the corrupt cop bar scene of The Dark Knight! AAAAAHHHHH!!!

*Winter Wheat is a weekend-long series of writers’ workshops hosted at BGSU.  I’ll be spending my weekend there with my nerdy little notebook and my nerdy little pen with a nerdy little smile on my face expanding my writing knowledge. In a word, YAY!