Surviving the "Real World."

Helloooo!

Just a quick stipulation/excuse for the extreme discombobulative quality of this post: It’s Nanowrimo, and I am semi-participating by resolving to finish my Demetrius and Chloe novel project. I will be writing 750 words per day at the very least. Right now I’m 15 days in with roughly 15,500 words under my belt, and my brain is utterly fried. Apparently the words I write are the only words I get to use for that day, because I have barely been able to verbalize a cohesive thought this entire month. I’m pretty sure this will bleed into blog posts as well, so buckle up, it’s gonna be a rough one!

            Look, guys, I’m just going to come out and level with you. The real world, meaning the typical lifestyle post-college, kind of fucking sucks.

            I know, I’m jumping right into it, but it’s true. For most of us idealistic little Millennials, the first couple years in the real world serve as our long-overdue wakeup call. The past year of my life, when I moved from BG to Columbus, was a seemingly endless stream of panic attacks and existential meltdowns, and recently some of my friends have begun to go through the same thing. After having so many similar conversations with people on this subject, I’ve compiled a little list of advice based on my own experience, though trust me, I still have my existential meltdowns. As I said before, my brain is functioning at roughly 38% due to all of my creativity being hurled at Demetrius and Chloe, so I will just cut the fluff and leap into the list. Here we go!

1. Stop whining.

            Seriously. Yes, the job market is oversaturated with college grads and many of us are flipping burgers with a degree. Yes, we graduated during economic strife. Yes, the student loan debt is absolutely insane. Yes, our parents told us we were perfect and wonderful and could be whatever our little hearts desired and all our dreams will come true and reality has proven all of that to be bullshit (we have to work for our goals? Oh noes!) My biggest advice: Suck it up. Seriously. These are the cards we’ve all been dealt. All of us. The sooner you stop wallowing in self-pity, the sooner you can actually deal with and suppress these issues. And guys, seriously, not to harp on this, but things could be so much worse. I’m so tired of people my age pissing and moaning and saying things like “we’re worse off than they were during the Depression! (yes, someone I know actually said that.) Dude. Guys. We’re not starving. We’re not homeless. We have running water. And even less dramatic than that, nearly all of us whose lives are “so terrible” have cars and cell phones and regular internet access. Seriously. Shut the fuck up.

Yeah...this isn't us, guys.

2. You will have shitty jobs for a while.

            Welcome to that terrible, terrible real world you’ve been dreading. This is definitely one of the hardest things to deal with. After four plus years of killing yourself with exams and projects and studying and gen eds, it’s a real kick in the metaphorical nads when only Frank’s Froyo is interested in hiring you. It’s hard, but you have to swallow your pride, take the job at Frank’s, and keep applying for better jobs. It might take months, but pay the bills and keep applying.

            If you’re lucky enough to end up in an entry level job in your field, I have different advice:

•Stick it out. It might be a job for which you’re over-qualified. It might be mind-numbingly boring. You might feel like it’s crushing your soul. Stick it out, because here’s the dirty little secret that our generation doesn’t seem to get: A degree is not equal to experience. It is not a substitute for doing the legwork that everyone has to do to move up in a company. Be patient. And I’m talking be patient for a year or two, not weeks or months. Our parents and grandparents understood this: In many jobs, you’re still considered to be “learning the ropes” after a year of working there. You may have one of the simplest, most tedious tasks on the planet that you’ve had down pat since your second week there, but you can’t be expecting a promotion after a couple of months. You’ve got to play the game, you’ve got to pay your dues. Stick with it.

•Work hard. Come in early or stay late, even if you don’t get paid overtime. Remember, employees with degrees are a dime a dozen. At this point all your degree does is (maybe) get your foot in the door. You need to stand out. Again, you could have the most boring job you’ve ever had. Be the best at that boring job. Stand out.

3. Learn to manage your money.

            Yeah, I’m still working on this one myself, but it’s important. Let me tell you, the first time I paid rent and bills unaided by student loans fucking sucked. I was getting full time paychecks for the first time, and coming from working about 10 hours a week in BG, it seemed like so much money. I wanted to go out and experience all the wonderful activities that Columbus has to offer. But by the end of the month, all that money was fucking gone, just like that. All my hours of work yielded a paycheck that just barely paid the basics for living. That was a harsh blow. Finding a higher paying job helped that a little for me, but I also had to learn to take control of my funds. No more going out to a bar or restaurant to celebrate pay day. No more buying cute clothes I just had to have. Budgets are incredibly depressing, but they make life much less stressful. I highly suggest making one for yourself (or doing what I did and having a much more mathematically capable person make one for me—thanks, Dad!)

            As of right now, I still have my compulsive spending sprees (damn you, Etsy), but for the most part, I’ve pulled way back on my spending. Once the student loans are gone, you realize just how easy it is to become broke.

4. Learn to freaking cook.

            Look, I know this doesn’t apply to your just-out-of-college life per say. You can eat Ramen now just like you did in college. But if you start cooking and stop eating out constantly (ha) now while you’re already employing new habits in your life, your waistline will thank you later. For those of you who think grocery shopping is more expensive than getting fast food all the time, I say: You can eat healthily economically, you just have to shop smart and find good recipes (there are, like, a million healthy cheap eating recipes online. Seriously, get a Pinterest account.) And I have one word for you: leftovers. They’re not just cold fries and old pizza. I could live off of leftovers for the whole week, and you can, too. So suck it up and learn to cook like grown-ups, okay?

            The era in which we’ve grown up seems to have a very strong focus on being happy and fulfilled. Unfortunately a lot of us didn’t get the memo that that doesn’t happen immediately. It takes work, and wading through years of effort and setbacks and wading through shit. We expect instant gratification. It doesn’t happen here.

            I know I’ve been pretty harsh so far. Like I said, I had a really rough time navigating this particular life hurdle, and I still do sometimes. It took me a very long time to hit my stride. Unfortunately a lot of the solutions I found relate to me personally, but I do have some advice that I think everyone could benefit from.

One of the biggest things I personally needed to do was to find a job with a regular schedule. I worked in retail for my first year down here, and I had to have open availability for the job. This wreaked havoc on my life. I couldn’t commit to any regular activity (like dance class, for instance) because I was rarely available the same time every week. Retail hours also sucked for me, since I frequently closed on weekends for Booky Wooks, and they close at 11. Getting a regular 9-5 type job was crucial for me to have a life outside of work. I know that this factor doesn’t apply to everybody, but I threw it out there because for me, it was essential. But here are the biggest pieces of advice I have to give, and they kind of run together:

1. Fill your spare time.

Don't be a couch potato cat.

Write this on your bathroom mirror: What you do for 8 hours a day does not dictate your life. Too many people (including me) have fallen into the post-college trap of doing absolutely nothing after work. I get it. You get up early, go to work, come home, and you think, Hey, I’ve earned a little relaxation time. Then you sink into your couch with your laptop and don’t get up until you go to bed. Suddenly you feel like you have no time to do the things you love. But you do. You have plenty of freaking time. You just have to fill it. Don’t fall into the couch trap. Leave your apartment after work instead, even if it’s just to go to a café. Make plans with friends—and keep them. Take a class. You probably spent just as much time in the classroom during the day as you do at work now, and you still found time to do things. For me, idleness is the fast track to depression. A day spent in front of the TV or computer screen (and I’m not writing) is a day I feel guilty about. Trust me, you have spare time. Fill it.

2. Don’t neglect what you love/lose sight of your dreams.

            I’ve only ever had one requirement for myself in my life: I will write. Dance also became vital to my personal happiness. Dance kind of slid back during my time at Booky Wooks due to my sporadic schedule, but I always wrote. When I meet a new person, I tell them I’m a writer and a dancer. Those are my passions. They are what I do. I don’t define myself by how I pay my bills. I know that’s very against what our society does. We define everyone by what they “do”, even if it has nothing to do with what we’re talking about. Just watch the news—Mr. Wilcox, a college professor, and his wife, a chef, have been accused of locking neighborhood children in their basement. Yes, I totally made that up, but we do that. We define each other by our occupation. I hate it. Maybe it’s because I’m an artistic type, and artists can rarely support themselves financially through their art, even if it is their passion, their love, their meaning in life. But this is becoming a digression. The point is, don’t let what you love get lost in the daily grind. Dance. Write. Paint. Design video games. Play bass. Whatever it is you love to do, make it priority #1 to do it. Last month I danced my ass off, and from now until New Year’s, I’ll be working on my novel almost every single day.

40 hours a week in an office--still
have time to be a freak.
..
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            Along a similar vein, don’t forget your dreams. They might not be coming true immediately like you wanted, or even quickly, but don’t let them fade away in the endless cycle of wake up, work, home, TV, sleep, repeat. Plan for them. Set goals for yourself, even if it’s a year ahead. Keep them alive. Just because things might suck now doesn’t mean they have to suck forever. That’s entirely up to you. And don’t ever forget it.

            Life in the real world can be frightening, depressing, and boring. But it’s still life, and you still have choices. Be realistic. Be tough. Be patient. You’ve got this.

Love you all!