What's up with the Zombie Fad?

             Before I begin my rant, I have to say this: Happy Anniversary, Boyfriend!  I can't believe it's been a year that I've been with the sweetest person I've ever known. You're amazing, sweetie. I love you.

 

Yeah...I'd have that look on my face too if I were dating a psycho like me for a year.

            All right. Okay. I’ve held this giant question mark over my head for years now and I just have to ask. What the hell is up with zombies?

            Many a supernatural creature has had their shining moment in the pop culture spotlight. Werewolf movies saturated the silver screen in the 80s. Fallen angels were the thing in the 90s (despite a Nicholas Cage cast fail in City of Angels), and vampires have dominated our darkest fantasies since Bram Stoker heard the name Vlad the Impaler.

            But…zombies?

            Most supernatural creatures have an allure that makes them popular. Breaking it down to bare bones, most have one or more of these traits that we collectively relate to.

1.     I’ve got a secret. Werewolves are the darlings of this category, because who wants to tell their new neighbors that they turn into a giant man-eating beast once a month? (insert your favourite period joke here) Vampires also tend to keep their true nature a secret for various reasons across various mediums: people will kill them, it’s easier to hunt when you blend in, the longing to be as human as possible, etc, etc. It’s our nature to be intrigued by deep, dark secrets. We all have them, as well, and can relate to such a storyline.

2.     The Animal Within. Whether certain people of certain faiths like it or not, we are animals. Within the society we’ve built for ourselves, however, there are many primal urges we’ve suppressed because they are detrimental to the wellbeing of our civilized selves: rage, aggression, lust. Enter the werewolf, the most literal embodiment of the animal within, a territorial beast who attacks without thought of consequences, who kills without any moral justification. Enter the vampire, the more metaphorical embodiment of the carnal desires within ourselves that we fear.

Uh, is he about to kiss her, or......?

3.     I’m a Fucking Badass. We all like to escape into fantasies where we’re unconquerable demigods capable of handling any situation, from belligerent drunks causing trouble to armed muggings. Most of the supernatural creatures to which we’re drawn are also preternaturally strong, fast, and deadly.

4.     I Fell to Temptation. This is something we’ve all done; given into a temptation even though we know it was a bad idea, the worst decision, the wrong choice. This is a very big thing with fallen angels (hence the name), and the symbolism of temptation runs rampant through vampire lore. It’s another situation where we’ve been there, we can relate. It is also significant to point out that a frequent reason a supernatural creature “falls” is because of a romantic interest. If I were writing about the appeal of supernatural creatures in romance….ooh, and I so should…I would call this one I fell for you.

Oh, yes, fallen angels are still a thing.

            There are plenty more reasons we are obsessed with our beloved paranormal creatures, but I think I’ve made my point. You will notice, however, that none of these traits have anything to do with zombies. Zombies*, werewolves, and vampires all began as essentially one creature; animated corpses. But where werewolf and vampire lore branched off and evolved into the metaphors for our suppressed nature, zombies just remained…animated corpses. Rotting eating machines. You could argue that certain mediums like 28 Days Later and I Am Legend make zombies more than that, you know, agile and angry and super strong, but I would counter argue that the monsters in 28 Days Later are not zombies, because they aren’t dead. They’re human beings infected with a virus, which is a terrifying concept, but not reanimated corpses. Now, correct me on that one if I’m wrong, because it’s been a while since I’ve seen that one. And I Am Legend? The original story (far superior to the Will Smith movie, trust me), was not a zombie story. It was more of a vampire story, though admittedly it was before zombies and vampires were definitively separated, and before Night of the Living Dead, which made zombies what they are today.

            By the way, read the original story. It’s wonderful.

            But anyway, what is with our fascination with zombies? I have to say this, and I’m sorry for my friends who are zombie fans, but guys…come on…zombies are so…boring. Really, really boring. As antagonists, especially, they’re boring. They’re literally rotting as they move. Their greatest weakness is a doorknob. Even in current successful zombie shows like The Walking Dead, the zombies themselves are a side note to the “true evil” of mankind. Dude, zombies are side notes in their own damn genre!  They have no sense of self, they have no deeper meaning. They’re just brainless eating machines.

            Yes, I do understand the appeal for mindless violence…in slasher movies. Gore flicks are where zombies shine, chowing down on boob job bimbo teenagers and their meat head boyfriends, their natural prey. But how they became such a huge fad is something I don’t really understand. Zombie themed club nights, Undead Nerf games (which are totally awesome, actually, that I totally get), all for these dull brainless creatures? I’m all confuzzled.

Just you wait til I get a hold of you....three days from now...as I crawl
inch by inch...rotting...

            Now, I know I don’t get it, but I don’t condemn the zombie fad. Or any fad, really, except for Twilight because it’s made it damn near impossible to have an intellectual conversation about vampires. If you like zombies, I fully support your affinity. I’m no zombiephobe. If that’s your thing, you deserve the same rights as any other supernatural creature fan. Have all the limping, brain eating fun you want, my darlings. See you next week!

                                                        ......................

Okay, can’t resist. Here are some bonus points of allure for the paranormal/supernatural romance genre only.

1.     I am more than a man, and I want YOU. It’s not just any guy who wants you, some drunken ass grabber in a bar or some horny Facebook friend of a friend that you added to your friends list out of pity, but a gorgeous, predatory, sometimes immortal supernatural übermensch! And he wants you! You, generic everygirl with nothing particularly special going on!

There is also some discussion that the popularity of paranormal romance over traditional mortal man harlequin romance is due to the rise in women’s rights and our identities as more equal creatures. Nowadays the heavily muscled guy riding to a helpless woman’s rescue is, well, offensive. A bad boy’s dangerous appeal starts to look more like abuse. But a supernatural creature is, by definition, allowed to fly off the handle and even get a little physical with a woman, because they’re more than a mere man. And they can’t help how much they desire you, the generic everygirl, which brings me to--

2.     I want you so badly, I can’t control myself. Your blood, your soul, your innocence, you, you, you. There’s something about you, generic everygirl, some deliberately left vague thing that makes me want you so badly that I simply cannot control my supernatural nature. I must drink your blood/make you my wolf partner/own your soul/fall from Heaven for you, you, you. Many, many women enjoy the thought of being desired so much that a man can’t control himself when he’s around her. But if this were a mortal man, that would be a bit…rapey. Hence, the vampire/werewolf/fallen angel/demon/cyborg lover.

And I choose vampires. 

*In this particular blog post, when I use the term zombie, I am talking about the mostly American phenomenon of the walking corpse that Night of the Living Dead popularized. I am not talking about the zombie or Zombi from Vodou lore, a human being without a soul who can be controlled by a talented houngan or mambo with salt.