Voices, Episode 2: Minis
Voices is a new post series where people submit personal stories to me anonymously so that they might share them safely.
If you have a story you'd like to share with the world; a confession weighing on your conscience, an experience you believe will help others, an open letter you've been dying to let out, but feel you can't do it safely within your friend/family/social media circle, consider submitting it here.
NOTE: Some of these mini posts have been edited or re-drafted by myself for grammatical, structural, and anonymity reasons.
MINI 1: Who I Am
I cannot be completely honest about who I am.
Most of my friends know that I am bisexual, but every year, as Pride month rolls around, I sit in the shadows and silently wait. I have not only my family, but now my in-laws on my Facebook. There's no way I can possibly come out. I know my in-laws would not approve. My mother, whom I love dearly, would be heart-broken.
So, to those that had the courage to come out, I salute you. To those that have not yet done so, I understand.
MINI 2: Bad Romance
My relationship started out like any other in this day and age: Girl is in a relationship, girl sees handsome boy, and girl cheats in relationship and begins roller coaster of a new relationship that lasted close to a decade. We met through a mutual friend, and he called me beautiful. He was ridiculously gorgeous in my eyes: Long hair, trench coat, gauged ears. The smell of his cologne was intoxicating. We really connected after I was nearly assaulted by an ex. We were amazing together. I’d never laughed or loved so hard in my life...until 6 months in.
When he first hit me, he cried and said it would never happen again. It did. And I stayed. I still loved him. He called me ugly and stupid on a daily basis, and eventually I believed it. I started to gain weight and not bathe like I should. A year and a half later, we got married. I still loved him with all my heart, but the abuse would always come back. I learned how to cover black eyes and bruises with makeup. No one knew, not even my family.
We bought a house, and for a while the abuse stopped. I thought, This proves it. He loves me. Of course, it started up again. I got pregnant and miscarried after an attack. I never told him.
His best friend began to pay attention to me. He flirted with me, and for the first time in years I began to feel sexy again. I began to think I was actually worth something. I fell in love and finally found the strength to leave my husband. In the end, his friend strung me along for a year. I fell into a suicidal depression, a very dark time for me. Now, I’m healing. I’ve found someone who truly loves me. You have to go through Hell before you can find your own personal Heaven.
MINI 3: The One That Got Away
I was 16 years old, I was not the popular one in school and everyone knew that. I was someone who was very shy and boys hardly even knew I existed! Popular girls had all the good-looking guys and lived that fairy tale relationship, and I was just someone who had crushes but was never pursued.
I was one a site called MeetMe. One day I was browsing around hoping I could find someone maybe, it was stupid at the time but then I thought I would give it a shot.
Finally I found him. He was this perfect-looking guy whose smile and eyes were so beautiful! I was very blown away then after that I finally messaged him and he finally got a hold of me one day and called me on the phone my heart pounded so fast I felt as if I was flying on air just by hearing the sound of his voice.
I knew I liked him a lot but I had to be sure. Days passed and I finally told him that I wanted to be his girlfriend and he said yes. I was so happy! I had someone at last! Someone to call my boyfriend.
He always made me laugh and smile even though we were 2 hours away he still gave me those good feelings inside. We really had so much in common! It was truly a dream come true.
On the day we met at last was one of the best days of my life. In person he was even more handsome he was tall and his smile was perfect.
I was the happiest girl alive! I was nervous but yet I was very happy I felt complete and knew that I was going to keep this one for a while. Every time we kissed it was magic and when I was in his arms I could hear his heart beat so fast...
But I never knew that would be the one day I saw him and was my last, We ended up ending our relationship because his parents knew I was too far away and it was too hard for us to pursue. It broke me apart knowing I was losing someone so perfect! I wasn't myself for awhile. I felt very depressed... that I lost someone I loved deeply in my heart. I am 23 and I still miss him it’s odd to think that I kept it in the back of my mind for so long I moved on with my life and tried to see other people... but they were not as good as he was. He never hurt me physically or mentally. He was the best I ever had.
Even when I saw he was seeing other people it broke me to see I wasn't able to be that girl who could see him everyday. I wished I could so much. It made me so jealous to see him be with other women and wished that I could have had that with him.
I wish I could have said how much he meant to me. I wish I never dated the monster that caused me pain a year after I broke up with him. Because that monster wasn't him, I paid the price for finding someone so far away but stole my heart right away.
I have not seen him in 8 years and I miss him so much.... because actually now we are talking again and it makes me happy to see pictures of him now and him smiling again just really made me feel all those feelings all over again! But now that I am older I have to be sure of myself this time. Yes he was the one that got away and was the best I ever had but if I do see him again after 8 years the one question will be will he make me feel all those feelings all over again to want to maybe continue what we started so many years ago? Or will it just be that one time thing that happens in life and you can’t go back and redo it all over again? That’s the main question.
If you have a story you'd like to share with the world; a confession weighing on your conscience, an experience you believe will help others, an open letter you've been dying to let out, but feel you can't do it safely within your friend/family/social media circle, consider submitting it here.
NOTE: Some of these mini posts have been edited or re-drafted by myself for grammatical, structural, and anonymity reasons.
MINI 1: Who I Am
I cannot be completely honest about who I am.
Most of my friends know that I am bisexual, but every year, as Pride month rolls around, I sit in the shadows and silently wait. I have not only my family, but now my in-laws on my Facebook. There's no way I can possibly come out. I know my in-laws would not approve. My mother, whom I love dearly, would be heart-broken.
So, to those that had the courage to come out, I salute you. To those that have not yet done so, I understand.
MINI 2: Bad Romance
My relationship started out like any other in this day and age: Girl is in a relationship, girl sees handsome boy, and girl cheats in relationship and begins roller coaster of a new relationship that lasted close to a decade. We met through a mutual friend, and he called me beautiful. He was ridiculously gorgeous in my eyes: Long hair, trench coat, gauged ears. The smell of his cologne was intoxicating. We really connected after I was nearly assaulted by an ex. We were amazing together. I’d never laughed or loved so hard in my life...until 6 months in.
When he first hit me, he cried and said it would never happen again. It did. And I stayed. I still loved him. He called me ugly and stupid on a daily basis, and eventually I believed it. I started to gain weight and not bathe like I should. A year and a half later, we got married. I still loved him with all my heart, but the abuse would always come back. I learned how to cover black eyes and bruises with makeup. No one knew, not even my family.
We bought a house, and for a while the abuse stopped. I thought, This proves it. He loves me. Of course, it started up again. I got pregnant and miscarried after an attack. I never told him.
His best friend began to pay attention to me. He flirted with me, and for the first time in years I began to feel sexy again. I began to think I was actually worth something. I fell in love and finally found the strength to leave my husband. In the end, his friend strung me along for a year. I fell into a suicidal depression, a very dark time for me. Now, I’m healing. I’ve found someone who truly loves me. You have to go through Hell before you can find your own personal Heaven.
MINI 3: The One That Got Away
I was 16 years old, I was not the popular one in school and everyone knew that. I was someone who was very shy and boys hardly even knew I existed! Popular girls had all the good-looking guys and lived that fairy tale relationship, and I was just someone who had crushes but was never pursued.
I was one a site called MeetMe. One day I was browsing around hoping I could find someone maybe, it was stupid at the time but then I thought I would give it a shot.
Finally I found him. He was this perfect-looking guy whose smile and eyes were so beautiful! I was very blown away then after that I finally messaged him and he finally got a hold of me one day and called me on the phone my heart pounded so fast I felt as if I was flying on air just by hearing the sound of his voice.
I knew I liked him a lot but I had to be sure. Days passed and I finally told him that I wanted to be his girlfriend and he said yes. I was so happy! I had someone at last! Someone to call my boyfriend.
He always made me laugh and smile even though we were 2 hours away he still gave me those good feelings inside. We really had so much in common! It was truly a dream come true.
On the day we met at last was one of the best days of my life. In person he was even more handsome he was tall and his smile was perfect.
I was the happiest girl alive! I was nervous but yet I was very happy I felt complete and knew that I was going to keep this one for a while. Every time we kissed it was magic and when I was in his arms I could hear his heart beat so fast...
But I never knew that would be the one day I saw him and was my last, We ended up ending our relationship because his parents knew I was too far away and it was too hard for us to pursue. It broke me apart knowing I was losing someone so perfect! I wasn't myself for awhile. I felt very depressed... that I lost someone I loved deeply in my heart. I am 23 and I still miss him it’s odd to think that I kept it in the back of my mind for so long I moved on with my life and tried to see other people... but they were not as good as he was. He never hurt me physically or mentally. He was the best I ever had.
Even when I saw he was seeing other people it broke me to see I wasn't able to be that girl who could see him everyday. I wished I could so much. It made me so jealous to see him be with other women and wished that I could have had that with him.
I wish I could have said how much he meant to me. I wish I never dated the monster that caused me pain a year after I broke up with him. Because that monster wasn't him, I paid the price for finding someone so far away but stole my heart right away.
I have not seen him in 8 years and I miss him so much.... because actually now we are talking again and it makes me happy to see pictures of him now and him smiling again just really made me feel all those feelings all over again! But now that I am older I have to be sure of myself this time. Yes he was the one that got away and was the best I ever had but if I do see him again after 8 years the one question will be will he make me feel all those feelings all over again to want to maybe continue what we started so many years ago? Or will it just be that one time thing that happens in life and you can’t go back and redo it all over again? That’s the main question.
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