A Pointless Rant About Contradictory Songs

Alrighty then. This is going to be one of those somewhat pointless posts about some random observation of mine I feel compelled to write about.

Have you ever heard a song that just completely throws you off because it seems contradictory?  A song with a whimsical beat but sad lyrics, for example?  I’ve run into a few of them in my life, and, being the lover of contrasts that I am, they absolutely fascinate me. I’m going to list a couple of them in case there is anyone like me out there who’ll find them interesting.

Anything by Cradle of Filth

I know, I’m starting with a band instead of a song, but it’s my damned blog and I can do what I want.

I first fell in love with Cradle of Filth in high school after hearing the song Nymphetamine and feeling a connection with it (the fact that they reference Hamlet in the video helped!) Now, Cradle is a tough band to take for a lot of people. I’d definitely say that they’re an acquired taste. They’re really rough on the ears for most people due to their strangeness, and especially for the musically inclined because their drum beats are just a teensy bit off, which drives me nuts.  However…Cradle is an amazing band.  First off, Dani Filth, the devastatingly sexy lead singer/songwriter, has a vocal range unheard of in the metal world. He uses absolutely no distortion, yet he can utter high-pitched screams one moment and low, rumbling growls that shake your bones the next.

Fantastic voice, brains, piercings, blood....dear God, HOT.

But the thing I love most about Cradle, and why I mentioned them here in the first place, is the fact that their lyrics are brilliant.  They’re brilliant in their vocabulary, their style, and their references.  Dani Filth is not your typical metal singer. He’s an academic. His songs reference the life of Byron, the mythology of Erzebet Bathory (Elizabeth Bathory), and all sorts of cultural and historical tidbits. Not only that, but the songs are written with such lush language that some of them are reminiscent of Shakespearian sonnets.

A perfect example of this is a piece of my favourite song of theirs, Bathory Aria:

If only I could have wept
In mourning by Her side
I would have clasped Her so tight
Like storm-beached Aphrodite
Drowned on Kytherean tides

            I love this song, and I especially love this little snippet. Not only is it beautiful, but it references Aphrodite and the lore of her origin, and in case you didn’t notice…I’m a huge Greek mythology nerd.  Anyway, Cradle’s songs are full of intellectual references like these in spite of their incredibly hard sound.  I will warn, however, that not all of their songs are as eloquent as this, and even in Bathory Aria they use some crass language.  They’re particularly fond of the word cunt, which is one of the handful of words that I actually find offensive. But if you can get past that, and their sound, Cradle is a profoundly intellectual band and their lyrics are pure poetry.  Specific songs I highly recommend: Bathory Aria, Twisted Nails of Fate, The Byronic Man, and, of course, Nymphetamine.

Heart and Soul

            Yes, this is the song that everyone and their 6-year-old sister knows how to play on the piano. Let me first say that I can no longer listen to this song without my eye beginning to twitch. I curse Hoagy Carmichael’s name for writing the goddamned melody. Next to Chopsticks and Ode To Joy, Heart and Soul is one of the most overplayed songs on the piano.

Damn you, Carmichael.

            I was forced to learn this song in high school by my Doo-wop loving choir teacher. At first I wanted to shoot myself rather than sing this much hated song, but then I got a look at the lyrics.  They’re…a little unexpected.  I’ll post them here:

Heart and soul, I fell in love with you,
Heart and soul, the way a fool would do,
Madly...
Because you held me tight,
And stole a kiss in the night...

Heart and soul, I begged to be adored,
Lost control and tumbled overboard
Gladly...
That magic night we kissed
There in the moon mist.

Oh, but your lips were thrilling, much too thrilling…
Never before were mine so strangely willing.

But now I see what one embrace can do,
Look at me, it's got me loving you
Madly...
That little kiss you stole
Held all my heart and soul.

            …Okay, so am I the only one who finds these lyrics so interesting?  Getting past the first stanza, which is the one everybody knows, the rest of the lyrics are kind of dark and obsessive, even sexy (Okay, sexy to me, but you know I’m a freak.) The part I’m most drawn to is Oh, but your lips were thrilling, much too thrilling…never before were mine so strangely willing. I don’t know about anyone else, but I’ve had that feeling before when I’ve kissed someone…especially someone I shouldn’t be kissing…but that’s a story for another day. Much too thrilling really struck a chord with me also, like something so simple as lips on lips shouldn’t really bring such a huge thrill through your whole body, and it’s such a shock when it does.

            The rest of the lyrics seem so obsessive to me.  I mean, I’m sure most people would think they’re romantic, but most people also think The Police’s Every Breath You Take is a love song when it’s written in the voice of a stalker. You know, maybe I’m not as alone in my terrorlust (discussed here) as I think I am. But now I see what one embrace can do, look at me, it’s got me loving you madly. That little kiss you stole held all my heart and soul. These lyrics are a little creepy to me.  A single kiss doesn’t lead to love, at least not for me, so someone saying that they’re completely enamoured after one kiss seems…stalkerish.

            Heart and Soul’s lyrics just don’t match the bouncy melody to me.  I feel like they belong in a deeper ballad-type song, personally.  Either way, even though I enjoy the lyrics, hearing the tune plunked out on the piano will forever drive me to homicidal rage.

I Started a Joke

            First let me say that I’m absolutely in love with this song. I love the original by the Bee Gees and the remake done by the Wallflowers. The reason I think this song first resonated with me was because it reminded me of…can you guess?...the Joker.

Always at the forefront of my subconscious, my beloved Mista J.

            Indeed, I am a pre-dict-able creature in many ways.

            When you first listen to the Bee Gees version of this song, it sounds kind of like an old 50s tune that kids used to slow-dance to at prom. There’s that watery voice the Bee Gees have always had, high and almost whimsical in its delivery. It’s an easy song to completely tune out, like elevator music. But the lyrics…I mean wow, they hit me like a cement wall when I first heard them.

Anyway, lyrics:

I started a joke
which started the whole world crying
But I didn't see
that the joke was on me, oh no

I started to cry
which started the whole world laughing
Oh if I'd only seen
that the joke was on me

I looked at the skies
running my hands over my eyes
And I fell out of bed
hurting my head
from things that I'd said

Till I finally died
which started the whole world living
Oh if I'd only seen
that the joke was on me

            Now, I’m a sucker for finding beauty and romance in tragedy and sorrow. It’s just a big part of who I am. A good fictional example is my penchant for “perfect character deaths.” I can’t think of a better PCD than Barbossa’s death in the first Pirates of the Caribbean movie.  For those who don’t remember this beautiful scene, let me do a quick recap:

            Throughout the first movie, Barbossa reiterates his desire to feel again: “I feel nothin’, not the wind on my face nor the spray of the sea…nor the warmth of a woman’s flesh.” This is also shown in his strong craving for green apples. Near the end of the movie [er, spoiler alert for those who have been living under a rock for years], Barbossa’s curse is finally lifted-just in time for Cpt. Jack to shoot him with the bullet he’d been saving for him for a decade.

            Barbossa stares in awe at the blood spurting from the bullet hole. He looks up, smiles a little, and says with an edge of joy in his voice, “I feel…” his smile fades, “…cold.”

            He falls onto a pile of treasure, and a perfect green apple falls from his limp hand.

            …PERFECTION! Ah! I cried!

            Another PCD in Pirates was the East India Trading Company dude’s demise in the third one, but I won’t rant about it, because I’ve already drifted far away enough from my point.

            …you know, Geoffrey Rush seems to like characters with PCDs. His death as Inspector Javert in Les Miserables was absolutely heartwrenching, too.

            God dammit, D, get back to the point!

            Anyway, yeah, beauty in sorrow, and blah, blah, blah, Dee’s a freak. I Started a Joke is a strange song, but, to paraphrase Harley Quinn, what can I say? It just does it for me! The theme of someone suffering for the betterment of others is an archetype to which I’ve always been drawn, and unfortunately, I tend to live it. My favourite stanza by far in this song is Til I finally died, which started the whole world living. Oh, if I’d only seen that the joke was on me. I just absolutely love it. It’s so beautifully tragic, so heartbreaking and yet comforting. Whenever I die, I hope my death will help someone live in some way like this song.

            Thus ends my exceptionally pointless post, because unfortunately I’m out of time.  I’m sure there are plenty of other songs whose lyrics don’t match their melodies, and feel free to point them out to me, but these are the ones with which I’m currently preoccupied.  I promise to [try to] have a post with more substance next week!