Objectification and Exploitation

Though for the record, I despise the terms 'reverse sexism'
and 'reverse racism.' They're just fucking stupid.

All right, kids, buckle up. I’m going to tackle a very controversial topic and I have a very controversial opinion about it. I’m going to try to make this short, because my tendency to ramble will weaken the impact of my point in this case.

So, let’s talk about sexism and objectification. Wait, wait, don’t leave yet. Those who know me know that I’m not a feminist, well, rather, the well-known stereotype of a feminist. But as I’ve gotten older, I have found myself getting irritated by things here and there; the memes about Kaley Cuoco’s weight gain in The Big Bang Theory (when Jim Parsons has gained weight as well and nobody bats an eye), or how discovering the Bechdel test has put an irritating wrench in my movie watching enjoyment (you can’t unlearn it!). I’m not about to paint a sign and picket, but there are a few things about women, mostly in media, that grate on me.

Haaate.....HAAAAAATE....!

Something that feminists frequently get their politically correct term for panties in a twist about is the sexual objectification of women. I’m an avid fan of Laci Green’s youtube series, Sex Positive, and this was her latest post:

                                  

All right, here’s something that will surprise you: I agree with Laci on this. Not only do I see this all the fucking time in media (most women in TV shows, even extras, are hot by societal standards; if they’re not, they’re the butt of jokes) but I’ve experienced it personally, and before you say anything, I’ve experienced it even when I’m not wearing my skimpy stuff. Some of it has been blatant; I’ve been honked at and hassled on streets—“Hey baby, where you goin’? Lemme talk to ya! Daaamn, girl!”, I’ve been told that I’m setting myself up for rape by “wearing nothing” when I go out, I’ve been told that every single one of my male friends want to fuck me (why else would they be friends with me?), and I’ve been told that I can go places because I’m beautiful. Not smart or talented or driven (which I am, thank you), but beautiful. Older women around me constantly focus on how skinny I am, going so far as to call me a bitch (oh, I’m just kidding, sweetie, you look great! :slightly harder than playful smack:)

As I crawl up the 20 something ladder, I find myself getting more and more insecure about how I look. I’m not like most feminists I know. I don’t blame my insecurity solely on society. I’ve always been insecure for a multitude of reasons. But the way we place worth on youth and beauty and pick apart every actress the minute she gains a pound or sprouts a gray hair…it would be deliberately obtuse to say that that has no impact on us. It would be stupid, in fact. Our attitudes are shaped by our families, our political environment, our cultures. We can overcome and break through plenty of the bullshit shoveled at us, but some of it will stick, and for a lot of women, this sticks, and it’s manifested through self-deprecation and an over preoccupation with how we look. The plain fact is, the sexual objectification of women is a thing, a big thing, and it sucks.

And the objectification of men is a big thing, too.

This is why I don’t put my foot in the camp of feminist. The movement of feminism is the focus on female equality. And that’s great. But the movement has a tendency to ignore the exploitation of men. Yes, men are currently slightly more powerful than women economically (but I don’t buy that it’s about gender prejudice. That’s a story for a different post.) But we have some very unrealistic standards to which we put men, just as unrealistic as all women having to be one body type to be worth anything.

In the US, men have to be hypermasculine, powerful, and above all, successful. House hubbies are seen as useless moochers who aren’t real men. If you’re not hell bent on climbing a corporate ladder, you’re not a man. If your girl makes more than you, you’re not a man. If you cry, you’re not a man.

Feminists’ giant blind spot in this department is best summed up in their arguments about video games, something I see a lot since a great deal of my friends are gamers. This picture graces my Pinterest wall every now and then, and I’ve heard the argument over and over:

They make memes like this to illustrate that women are viewed as sexual objects. Females in comics and video games are persistently near nude with ridiculously exaggerated proportions that no living female could ever hope to be without severe plastic surgery. I’m not arguing that point. Harley Quinn is my favourite comic book female, and I can’t help but roll my eyes at her gigantic boobs and hypersexualized costumes (which, for the record, I would wear the hell out of. Sorry if that’s hypocritical, but I believe I can wear whatever the fuck I want to, skimpy or no.) I’ve already stated that I think female sexual objectification is, in fact, a thing.

Hooowever…

What the creators of clever little memes like this gloss over is the fact that men are just as objectified as women in them, just in a different way. Male game and comic book characters are freaking billboards for hypermasculinity. They have muscles that don’t biologically exist. Their muscles’ muscles have muscles. Even if they’re not hyper muscular, they’re ridiculously (dare I say, comically?) powerful. Gritted teeth and veiny flexing and tons of guns. TESTOSTERONE, MAN! These men are MEN!

"Yes."

                               

Our video games and comic books (and ads, and tv and film characters, music) all push the gender ideal; the hypermasculine, successful man, the perfectly proportioned, gorgeous woman. Women’s issues might have louder outcries currently and therefore seem more important, but in my opinion, they’re not. The pressure we put on young boys to “be men”, and how we despise men who don’t fit that Adonis, is just as reprehensible as calling a woman a slut and telling her she’s the wrong shape.

                                 

Check out the comments on the bottom
of the article, also.

Now here’s the problem with me personally being a spokeswoman for sexism. I’m utterly guilty of it. As a self-proclaimed and very proud ball breaker, I use the terms ‘man up’ and ‘grow a pair’ in casual conversation. I call overcompensating macho men ‘princess’ and even told my male friend he was being a bridezilla because he was looking at $2,000 wedding bands that cost more than his fiancé’s ring. Dr. Cox from Scrubs, who is in the business of emasculating and ridicule, is one of my favourite characters of all time. In my defense, I do this kind of stuff to all of my friends, regardless of gender. I tell female friends to grow a pair as often as my male friends, I tell them they’re being delicate little princesses when they’re worried about their appearances, etc. But honestly I know I don’t have a leg to stand on defending myself. As much as I hate sexism, I hate censorship of humour and PC culture more, and I give a big pass to a lot of jokes and comedy situations that I suppose I shouldn’t if I’m all gung ho about gender equality. I love my sense of humour and don’t know if it’s going to change, I’m not condemning or condoning it, I just wanted to be straight with you guys. ;)

<3

In the end, all I know is that I want my futurebabies to be secure with who they are and not have to worry about fitting a societal standard for masculinity or femininity. I may joke about dreaming of being mother to four or five huge hockey playing jocks, but that’s just a joke. If my boy is more comfortable sewing, then dammit, he’ll sew. If my girl ends up being bigger than the grossly unrealistic ideal, I want her to be fine with that (and if she’s skinny, I don’t want her to experience bitter girl hate).

You can look at these inequalities and see it as a huge flaw of humanity and our society, and that’s fine, I feel that way sometimes. But most of the time I feel hopeful. We are addressing these issues. We are talking about them and fighting them, especially women’s issues. I want us to be fighting for all genders to be seen as full people and not scripts based on their genitals and what we shape men and women (and transsexuals and the agendered, etc) to be.*

And that’s all I have to say about that.

*For the record, I would however rather die than live in an overly PC dystopia where we pretend to be blind to colour, gender, nationality, etc. That’s just stupid. We are different, and we should make that a point of pride rather than pretending we’re all the same, even if we’re saying we’re all perfect and awesome. I’m proud to be a woman and to be Italian, for example. Friends of mine are proud to be black, and Irish, and men, and gay. PC culture says it celebrates diversity, but really, it teaches you to pretend not to see diversity, not to celebrate it. Celebrate it, dammit. So says the angry dago bitch.